what rhymes with chaos?

Inaugural Premier's Obituary Award

My Dearest Queensland, I have just returned from a weekend swimming in your resplendant blue waters at Stradbroke island, followed by two nights in the majestic sunshine coast hinterland, only to return to Brisbane and discover that Campbell 'I hate the arts so much you'd think they strangled my puppy' Newman has scrapped the Queensland Premier's Literary Awards. Bewilderingly, he has deigned to do this during The OFFICIAL YEAR OF READING. Did no one send him a memo? Perhaps they did, and he didn't read it. After all, he has publicly stated that he's 'not into studies and plans.' Not sure how he managed to get an engineering degree, if that's the case...

The money he's 'saving' is a paltry $224 000, an amount that is miniscule in terms of a state budget, but means a great deal to the arts. We are talking about BOOKS here! In the words of George R. R. Martin (via Tyrion Lannister): "The mind need books like a sword needs a whetstone." Newman, it would appear, is all too happy to have some very blunt swords at play.

"If I had to choose between Joffrey and Newman... Hrm. Is there a third option? Stabbing my eyes out with a fork perhaps?"

The loss of the Premier's Literary Award is a devastating blow to the QLD literary community, and if there's one thing I've learnt from a misspent youth reading too many fantasy novels, revenge is a cycle which always ends in joyous victory of good over evil with no sideline ramifications whatsoever. That's why I am, today, right now, announcing the Inaugural Premier's Obituary Award. Whoever can create the most amusing protest (of any kind) against this atrocity, or Mr. Newman in general, will receive:

  +   + 

+ ZEB AND THE GREAT RUCKUS (Um...it doesn't have a cover design yet...)

1 x copy of Reading Madame Bovary The last (ever!?) book to win the Premier's Fiction award

1 x signed copy of my first novel A Beginner's Guide to Dying in India

1 x signed copy of my forthcoming novel Zeb and The Great Ruckus (Due for release later this year).

20 x new release CDs from both major and indie labels. (From my other job as a music reviewer. Selection will depend on what the hell they give me).

All of this will be hand delivered by me. I'll even make you dinner if you like. (Although I am a terrible cook.)

Email your entries (photos/word docs/media files/whatever you’ve got) to jmdonellan(AT)gmail(DOT)com by June 30th. The winner will be decided on August 30th.

You should also sign this petition to have the award reinstated and check out the Queensland Literary awards, recently established by Krissy Keen and Matthew Condon.

 

Eighty Nine book trailer

Hey look! My first ever book trailer! For a compilation I was part of recently, featuring my piece 'The Story Bridge' set here in Brisbane in the nearish future.

More info here:

http://literarymixtapes.com/our-anthologies/eighty-nine/

 

 

Interview with Jo Nesbo

original Rave article here. 

JOSH DONELLAN speaks with JO NESBØ about the film adaptation of his book HEADHUNTERS and what it’s like to be labeled ‘The next Stieg Larsson.’ You probably haven’t heard of the pop group Di Derre, but in the band’s native Norway they’re kind of a big deal. However, their lead singer Jo Nesbø, better known for his career as an internationally best selling crime novelist, didn’t always plan on becoming a famous practitioner of the musical and literary arts. Or taking calls from Martin Scorsese for that matter. Nesbø started out his professional career as a successful stockbroker. It wasn’t until two years after the death of his father, who held lifelong literary aspirations that were never acted upon, that Nesbø decided to become an author. “I realized I had to write and in order to do that I had to quit my job. I summed up the money I had, I mean, you’re overpaid as a stockbroker so I knew I had enough to be a writer without income for quite some years and I didn’t really want a yacht or a big summer house. It didn’t feel like taking a risk it just felt like something I had to do. There was no way around it.” Nesbø’s books have been a runaway success both in Norway and all over the world. So much so that when his books were first translated into English, some bright spark at his publisher’s marketing department decided it’d be a smart move to bill him as ‘the next Stieg Larsson.’ Nesbø, in a sardonic Scandinavian accent, comments “Well you know, it was the stickers on my books in the UK. I just saw the sticker, and I thought, ‘well, okay, they say I’m the new Stieg Larsson and … it could have been worse. I could have been the new Dan Brown.’”  The film adaptation of his 2008 novel Headhunters is on screens now. Like most well executed film adaptations, it’s an almost page for page translation of the novel (although it does tragically omit references to the brilliant Norwegian rock group Turbonegro). The story follows a successful corporate headhunter, Roger Brown, who also dabbles in the hazardous extracurricular activity of high stakes art theft. When Brown meets the former CEO of a high profile GPS company, Clas Greve, he thinks he’s not only found the perfect client, but also a chance to nab his treasured Rubens masterpiece. However, it soon becomes clear that Greve has sinister intentions and that the hunter is about to become the hunted. With Headhunters recently released and Martin Scorsese having just announced that he will film Snowman, the seventh book in Nesbø’s hugely popular Harry Hole series, I ask Nesbø how he feels about the translation of his stories from page to screen. “I think the thing I’m worried about is more to do with how I feel about the story as a writer,” he replies. “If I’m finished with the story, I’m finished with the story. If I see a talented director wanting to tell a story, I’m happy to provide them with material. But I didn’t want to sell the rights to the Harry Hole series because I was worried it would impact on the series that I was still writing. So I said for many years, ‘I don’t want anyone to make a film of it, but if Martin Scorsese calls I might reconsider.’ “So that was a sort of joke,” he laughs, “but as it turned he called and he wanted to make a movie, so I sort of caved in and sold out.” HEADHUNTERS is in cinemas now, rated [MA15+]. The HEADHUNTERS novel as well as the HARRY HOLE series are available now through Random House. www.jonesbo.com

 

BNE artist interviews #1: Erica Field

Today’s entry is part of a new monthly series where I will be interviewing artists from Brisbane. For the first installment I sit down with my good friend Erica Field as she talks about transforming herself into a boy, bleeding on stage and falling in love with the audience.

photo: Sean Young

JD: I’ve heard it said that you hate hypothetical questions. If you had to choose
 between answering a hypothetical question and getting repeatedly hit in the face with a pillow at 5am what would you do?

EF: I would prefer being hit in the head with a pillow. 

JD: You’ve worked with a number of creatives from around Australia and overseas. Do you have an organization or show that is on your wish list?

 EF: Top of my wish list would be doing Six Women again. We had offers from various places but because we couldn’t fund it, it just never happened. I think it should be seen all over the world. Seen AND felt.  I absolutely believe in that show.

Six Women Standing In Front Of A White Wall from Little Dove Theatre Art on Vimeo.

 JD: You’ve studied and performed in Edinburgh, Berlin and all over Australia. What makes you keep coming home to Brisbane?

 EF: I just think that Brisbane is really starting to get going. I feel like there’s a generation of artists that are starting to really develop a very strong creative and  artistic voice. And I’ll be here as long as I can be part of that!

photo: Fenlan Chuang

JD: What is the weirdest theatre piece you’ve ever seen?

EF: The most full on piece that I’ve seen was by a guy called Ron Athey. Does a lot of
  stuff where he cuts himself. In this one particular piece…maybe I won’t go into it. Do you want me to?

JD: Yeah!

EF: He had all these barbs in his head and he took them out one by one so that streams of blood were pouring down his face. He smeared blood all over the set.

 JD: I can just imagine the risk assessment form for that show…

EF: And then he covered himself in a kind of milky lubricating substance and fisted himself. And then he was rained on by rock salt.

JD: Why art?

EF: What else would I do? It just makes sense to me. I guess…I don’t know how else to understand the world. Or find beauty in the world.

photo: Morgan Roberts

JD: You’re well known for having a highly immersive research process for your performances. For Room 328 you dressed as a boy and during this time you started eating protein powder. What else did you do to prepare for this role?

EF: Yeah, it was different each time. The first time I didn’t quite know how to just be comfortable and for the qualities of that character to become really part of me. The first time round I just spent a lot of time wearing boy clothes and just trying to eliminate I guess all the…ah…it’s dangerous territory but ‘feminine’ things out of what I did. I spent a lot of time with Liesel Zink, who was our movement consultant, just watching the young punk kids that hang outside Rocking Horse.  Just looking at the way they behave and their movements.

   

photo: Mircha Mangiacotti

JD: Your performances such as six women and room 328 tend to be interactive and participatory pieces which involve everything from being slapped by audience members to dancing with them. Do you have a favourite moment of audience interaction?

EF: Yes. One of them was a guy during the season of Six Women in Edinburgh. This guy came up to touch me and I was crying and I had a bit of snot and he wiped away the tears, stroked my face and just very, very gently put his hand on my side and then we just stood there together really close. And in that moment I thought we could be lovers. He was amazing and then he left, and I fell in love with him just a little bit. It was a very tiny moment but just the quality of it was so beautiful.

  

photo: Adam Sebestian West

JD: Tell us about your upcoming show the Raven. Are you going to punch anybody?

EF: I’m not going to punch anybody. BUT it’s immersive. It’s going to be a really beautiful meditation on the kind of fear of letting go, particularly of someone you’ve loved and you now need to let go of and the kind of loss and sadness that is involved with that and being alone in the world.

THE RAVEN, inspired by the works of Edgar Allen Poe, runs from the 7th until the 31st of March at Metro Arts Theatre and you should definitely go becuase it will be amazing. 

 

Paper girl festival video interview

 

 

Writers aren't used to having our faces (or any other parts) on camera. Despite spending most of our lives desperately trying to communicate through the use of various combinations of 26 letters and a small selection of punctuation marks that the modern world is increasingly less interested in correctly utilising, we are a species that is frequently heard but never seen. 

Unless you're J.K. Rowling or Tara Moss, no one knows what the hell you look like. I've read maybe a half a dozen of Irvine Welsh's books and I couldn't even begin to guess at his physical appearance. For all I know he's a morbidly obese man with a prolific beard, terrible body odour, a nipple piercing and a unicorn tattoo prominently displayed on his right forearm.

For this reason it was something of a novelty for me to do this interview with the organisers of the Papergirl festival. It's a really great opportunity for artists and writers to literally shove their work in people's faces. I've submitted a few of my short stories, so if you see someone approach you on a bicycle holding out a rolled up bundle of papers on the 4th of February, take a peek inside...

You can see interviews with other artists participating below. There are still a few days left to submit work! Artists and writers: get amongst it. 

 

 

Diet Tips from the Vampire Girl With a Dragon Tattoo Who Played a Game of Thrones With Fire

Good Morrow to you, Sirs and Madams of the Big Six consortium of publishers! I trust you are well. Before I tell you about the EXCITING!!!! opportunity I am offering you today, I have to ask, are you ever concerned by the fact that your informal collective moniker sounds like some kind of crime syndicate? On the other hand, it is also reminiscent of the Bionic Six, which was one of my favourite cartoons as a kid. Do any of you have superpowers, (besides an almost impregnable stranglehold on the publishing industry that is)? 

 

I know that Oprah's retirement last year must have been a sad day for you, seeing as she directly influenced so many people to consume your books in drool inducing quantities. So I'm here with some news to cheer you up! I am offering YOU the EXCITING opportunity to publish my third novel. That's right! This is not a dream, so quit stabbing that fork into your leg! I, J.M. Donellan, renowned New York Limes Best Smelling author, am currently accepting proposals for contracts to publish the bizarrely titled Adonis Comma Coma.

Now, granted, this novel does not feature diet tips, games involving thrones, vampires, or girls with dragon tattoos who play with fire. I'm saving all of these for my forthcoming novel Diet Tips from the Vampire Girl With a Dragon Tattoo Who Played a Game of Thrones With Fire. That'll sell a billion and ten copies, no question, but in the meantime I offer you the opportunity to place Adonis Comma Coma under your metaphorical wings. Or literal wings if you have them, maybe that's one of your superpowers.

Adonis Comma Coma is a dark comedy about a synaesthetic nurse named Freya who is hired to look after the comatose Elijah, the golden child of the wealthy and eccentric Vincetti family. However, it soon becomes clear that Elijah may not have been the prodigious saint that everyone made him out to be. Meanwhile, someone is disposing of the Vincetti's corporate rivals in a series of imaginatively violent executions. Strange events are transpiring in the curiously over fortified room of the Vincetti mansion, and it may or not have something to do with a woman who claims to be Marilyn Monroe...

Applications should be made in the form of interpretative dance, magical cake, fireworks display or self-indulgent guitar solo. Winners will be chosen based on talent, enthusiasm and endurance. 

If you are interested in this EXCITING, LIFE CHANGING opportunity, then don't think JUST ACT NOW!III  I'm looking for someone to offer me a contract with 80-90% royalties, a jetpack, the complete set of Garbage Pail Kids cards, a performing monkey and a limo with accompanying driver named something like Ahmir or Vikram with whom I can share heartwarming exchanges about the differences between our cultures that can later be presented in a delightful montage set to this song:

 

I look forward to receiving your dance performance, fireworks display, magic cake or guitar solo.

Swarm Regards

J.M. Donellan

 

 

 

 

 

Chali 2na at the BNE hifi reviewed for Rave magazine

original article HERE.

 

Criminally underrated local act Coalition Crew are the first of four obscenely impressive lists of performers representing three different continents this evening. They deliver a solid set of tight, clever rhymes over golden era-influenced beats and bass.

Bankrupt Billionaires, a recent addition to the local scene, are next up on stage. Their soulful hip hop-influenced sounds pack a hell of a punch. Lead singer Kel Timmons has enough sass and swagger to power a small island nation, and with a little help from Laneous and Hannah Macklin, tonight the Billionaires make a real impact. Recent Triple J unearthed single Daze Of The Dead is a highlight, but their whole show is pretty much start to finish flawless.

Lotek swaggers onto stage suited and booted and backed by Rudekat Sound. By this time the whole evening feels more like an Island Vibes sampler rather than an international headliner show with a few supports. The entire assembly of the Hi-Fi, from the front of the stage to the back of the bar, is dancing and shaking like the world is about to end. Lotek’s ska/funk/soul/reggae-influenced hip hop goes down a treat, with songs like The Rudest Dude and Paid working up plenty of crowd participation.

 

 

Chali 2na and his band take the stage a little after 11pm, greeted by a crowd that is soaked in sweat and booze and smiles. His set tonight is framed around the idea of ‘Chali 2na radio’, featuring selections from his solo work and Jurassic 5 interpolated with a bizarrely diverse selection of medley covers. Classic cuts like What’s Golden? and Freedom are satisfyingly brilliant, even without the rest of J5 in tow. The backing band tonight is phenomenal, the keyboardist/vocalist showcasing an impressive falsetto and the seven-string (yes, that’s right SEVEN) bassist really brings the house down. 2na certainly knows a thing or two about crowd participation and has the audience doing everything from clapping to introducing themselves to strangers to playing Simon Says (which turns out to be incredibly fun when played with several hundred people and a live hip hop band). The one problem with the two-hour-long ‘radio show’ format is that it leans a little towards the self-indulgent side, mixing in sections from Rock Lobster and playing a huge selection of little known songs detracts from what could otherwise be a near perfect shorter set. That said, however, when you see a guy crowd surfing in a wheelchair, you know something good is going on.

Illustrator acquired!

 

Ladies and Gentlememes,

I am so excited about this announcement THAT I AM GOING TO USE CAPS UNTIL THE END OF THIS SENTENCE! My publisher, Odyssey Books, and I have found an illustrator/cover artist for Zeb and The Great Ruckus (the novel that will inspire a generation of children to pick up guitars and quills and paintbrushes and initiate an artistic insurrection.) Kathleen Jennings is a brilliant illustrator, writer, lawyer and translator (I can only assume she possesses some kind of superpowers, time machine, or small clone army), and was recommended to me by my friend and contract advisor Alex Adsett. Both Kathleen and Alex are fellow Brisbanianitesistsians. 

As soon as I opened up the link to Kathleen’s page and saw a sketch of a Dalek holding a parasol, I knew she’d be perfect for this project. The work of Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake heavily influenced this book and I wanted to have someone who, like Blake did for Dahl, would do both the cover and the internal line sketches. I’m really excited to see what Kathleen comes up with, you can and should check out her work HERE or follow her on twitter here. Alternatively, you could follow her in real life wearing a trench coat and dark sunglasses but I think the police frown upon that kind of thing and anyway you don't even know what she looks like.

I hope something fabulous has happened to you today as well, and if it hasn't I hope it does soon. FIREWORKS AND GUITAR SOLOS FOR EVERYBODY!

 

  

They Will Have Their Way BNE review for rave magazine

view and comment on the original article HERE.

Photo: Rebecca Reid QPAC – Mon Nov 7   A well-dressed, predominantly middle-aged crowd takes their seats facing the massive stage backdrop of intertwined red and blue trees that looms over two drum-kits and an extensive array of instruments. Sally Seltmann opens with a haunting, loop-driven rendition of Four Seasons In One Day. Lior steps up next for Into Temptation before Clare Bowditch strides on stage to make the first use of the complete backing band tonight (two drummers, guitar, bass, keyboards). The singers who make up Seeker Lover Keeper then join her for a breath-taking interpretation of Fall At Your Feet. When you’re singing with Sarah Blasko, Holly Throsby and Sally Seltmann on back-up vocals, you know you must be doing something right. Throughout the evening the performers seem to be absolutely reveling in the chance to be performing these timeless songs with such an incredible cast. There are a handful of by-the-book covers (like Lior’s pedestrian performance of Mean To Me) that don’t really cause much of a stir. But the real joy tonight is seeing Neil and Tim Finn’s body of work re-imagined by such incredible talent. Alexander Gow delivers an excellent rendering of I Feel Possessed, Blasko’s self-described ‘Tom Waits-y’ version of My Mistake is pure mischievous genius and Bowditch’s leading of the crowd in a mass multi-part sing-along for Better Be Home Soon is an undeniable highlight. Paul Dempsey, however, is an absolute show stealer. He gives Chocolate Cake a solid workout and his frenzied version of I See Red sees him running off stage in front of the audience like a man possessed. The full cast, complete with a total of four guitars, two drums, a slew of tambourines and a sonic wealth of voices, concludes with It’s Only Natural and Weather With You before a standing ovation brings the evening to a close. JOSH DONELLAN

 

Can you hate the artist but love their art?

I have a conundrum, my dotcomrades. I recently read a post by one of my writing heroes that made me want to transform his body of work into a paper-mache sculpture of his own severed head. Frank Miller’s work has been an inspiration to me ever since I was a kid. His work on graphic novels like Sin City is nothing short of legendary. Miller was among the forefront of writers in the 1980s that convinced wider audiences that comic books weren’t solely a medium for brightly coloured, cliché-ridden characters. His work demonstrated that comics could be an excellent medium for communicating gritty, grisly stories. 

"You know what makes me mad? When people think I am a graphic novel adaptation of that quirky 90s sitcom 'Spin City.'"

However, around a week ago, Miller wrote this post discussing his opposition to the occupy movement. Fair enough, everyone’s got a right to their opinion. But he then proceeds to call them ‘louts’ ‘thieves’, ‘rapists’ and ‘pond scum’ and furthermore make the insane argument that because ‘America is at war with Islamicism’ then all other struggle is basically a waste of time. It’s one thing to disagree with a political movement, but to so hatefully vilify them and then start making insane Islamophobic connections is quite another. I mean, I'm strongly opposed to the values of the American Tea Party movement, but I'm not going to go around addressing them with awful and unjustified slurs. Particularly when they are weird and crazy enough to embarrass themselves on their own without needing my help. 

 

"Yeah! Cut funding to education! Who needs it?"

I now look at Miller's work with a feeling that I would describe as a combination of 'cute little puppies being shoved in a blender' and 'listening to Duck Sauce's Barbara Streisand on repeat for 36 hours.' Is it really possible to enjoy the output of an artist, which is an indubitably brilliant collection of work, whilst hating its creator who, according to recent evidence, is something of a fuckwit?

I’m reminded of a costume party I attended a few years ago when a Michael Jackson song came on the stereo and everyone proceeded to whoop and holler and dance around the living room until some girl ran towards the stereo yelling “NO! TURN THAT OFF! HE IS A PAEDOPHILE!” I have to be honest, she seemed a little crazy, and not only because of the Britney Spears costume she was wearing. A bunch of people turned to her and said, "Relax, it's just a song!" But maybe she had a point. Lately I feel like that girl dressed as Britney Spears. And not in a closet cross-dressing kind of way. 

There are plenty of other examples. Bill Murray, famous for both his extraordinary body of work and his idiosyncratic approach to the movie industry (he doesn’t have an agent, manager or email) has a record of domestic violence. Jack Kerouac was infamously racist, the Nobel prize winning author V.S. Naipul recently made some insanely sexist remarks and James Brown also had a history of domestic abuse. You can see him drunkenly-sort-of-half-denying-it-in-between-singing-his-own-songs-and-wearing weird-giant-yellow-glasses here:

  

I'm not able to separate the art from the artist. Every time someone puts on 'Papa's Got a Brand New Bag' a part of me lights up and wants to dance whilst my guilt complex simultaneously kicks into overdrive. I feel like I'm placing one hand on the world's largest diamond and the other in the hand of a rabid crocodile (crocodiles can get rabies, right?) What about you, residents of internetland? Can you happily sing along to Wonderwall despite the fact that Liam Gallagher is a pretentious, arrogant git? I'd love to hear your thoughts (just not the really weird ones, even I have my limits).

In conclusion: seriously Frank, what the fuck.